My struggles & triumphs as I learn to adjust to life as one of the living dead.


My struggles & triumphs as I learn to adjust to life as one of the living dead.


We’re All Gonna Fry!

Hey Y’all,

Can you believe Bill‘s Vision? I’m totally freaking out. All of us are gonna meet the true death according to what he saw. Eric, Pam, Tara & many others. I sure as heck hope that Bill’s plan to stop this from happening works. I’m not ready to Die. Geez, I’ve only been Vampire for like 5 years, I still have lots to do & see. I’m not sure how the heck he’s gonna stop this but he better channel this Lilith thing in him & find a way.


Not that that’s stressful enough, I can’t help worry for Jason. Taking on Warlow & all his anger. He just doesn’t seem right lately. I know he’s pissed Vampires killed his Momma & Daddy but that was years ago. He shouldn’t be all messed up like he is. You’d think he’d focus on justice being a cop & all, not all world war V crazy. I just hope he’s safe where ever he is & that he survives Warlow.

Pray for us & Hope Bill finds a way to save us all.



World War V is comin…

Hey y’all,

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve spoken to my online friends. It feels like the apocalypse here with the authority attacking humans and their crazy religion. Bill is scaring the shit out of me & I don’t know if he’s some God of Vampires or just out of his damn mind.


I feel so alone. Pam has Tara, Eric has Nora & Pam, Jason has Sookie. Geez, everyone has someone & I’m terrified of Bill right now. Gosh, some days i miss Hoyt so fricken much.

It feels like World War V is about to happen & we ain’t ready. I hope all my friends stay safe & I pray for their happiness.

Wish i had more to share. I just pray for y’all. Bless you all.


Gone….But Not Forgotten.

Hey y’all,

Not sure what I wanna say or if I can even put into words what I feel right now. How does anyone cope with being completely erased from someone’s life? Every laugh together, every cry on each others shoulder, every moment spent just zapped from existence.

I don’t even know how to say goodbye to Hoyt, not that I really could any way. All I know is that he will never be forgotten. Even if our paths went separate ways I will always remember what a stand up guy he is and how much he taught me. If it weren’t for Hoyt I wouldn’t be the vampire I am today.

You’ll never read this Hoyt…

But I truly wish you the best in Alaska. May you find what you’re looking for and be a successful man. Meet a wonderful woman and move on happily.

All the best to you, my first Love.

Here is where it gets royally messed up: Jason, poor guy, lost his best friend. Sure, he did sleep with me, hence crossing Hoyt. But a childhood erased is not a punishment fit for the crime. In a way Jason wasn’t the only one to blame and he had my blood which made me virtually impossible to resist. So yeah, it’s basically all my fault and Jason has to pay the price. I can’t help but feel extremely guilty that everything Jason & Hoyt shared is now a story only to be told by one. Besides Sookie, Jason only had Hoyt as family and now he has to mourn that loss too. I don’t know whether to try to be a friend to him or stay away cause I’m sure he hates me, BIG TIME.  Guess I’ll just give it time..

It’s a sad night in Bon Temps



Hi y’all,

Here I am stuck in the mansion while Jason tries to find Hoyt. Some how Hoyt got himself involved with the “Obamas”. I don’t know why he ended up with them, maybe he was just real pissed off at me. I guess that changed when he saw me chained up and was supposed to kill me. Instead of pulling that trigger he let me go.

Now Hoyt’s missing. I know those asshole’s have him. And I’m stuck here without a clue whether Jason has found him, even worse if he’s still alive or not. If anything happened to him, I will rip each and every one of those “Obamas” to shreds. I feel so useless stuck with these guards waiting. I should be out there helping Jason instead of pacing the room staring at the phone.

Jason would you just call already….

I can’t do this right now.

Night y’all


Boys of Bon Temps are So Last Year!

Hey y’all,

I am so done with the Bon Temps boys!

Hoyt has turned into a suicidal fangbanging lunatic and Jason well he shot me in the fricken head! Like I’m suppose to be just fine and dandy with that. Well I got news for you Mr. Stackhouse. That was just plain rude!

Maybe it’s time I just give up on having any relationship with a human cause clearly they don’t understand anything about me. It’s not like I kidnapped someone and was draining them to death. He, who ever he was, agreed and gave full consent to me enjoying a little snack. I’m so fricken tired of being looked at, like I’m a mass murderer. Shit I wasn’t even alive when Jason’s parents were killed.

Well I think I’m just gonna go out and find some fun and forget about all this relationship crap. Steady or casual, I’m done with it all!

Like Bill said:  Time to Vamp Up!

See y’all at Fangtasia!


What If ???

Hey Y’all,

I don’t really have much to say this week. Maybe I’m just over thinking everything or I’m just in one of those moods.

I really can’t help but wonder what if Hoyt & I never hooked up. Would he have still turned into this guy I don’t know? Would he have rebelled like any Mama’s boy would? What if he would have stuck with Summer, would he be happy? Instead of this crazed Fangbanger? Did I really turn him into this desperate tormented person?

I’m actually worried he’s gonna go out and get himself killed. I really don’t want that for him. He deserves more than being some one’s blood bag. Not Me, not Tara, not no one. I just want him to move on and be happy. And maybe, just maybe, if I’m lucky, we can be normal friends.

Wishful thinking…Pathetic for a Vamp, I know. But I have a LONG undead life to live and I don’t want to carry these feelings forever. I really hope Hoyt gets a grip on his life.

That’s it…All that’s running thru my mind right now.


When Fangs Attack.

Hey y’all..

I guess Karma came to Bon Temps and paid me a visit. Just when I thought Tara & I can have this new vampire friendship thing happen, she goes off and sinks her fangs into Hoyt. Like seriously? That’s what fiends do?  I shouldn’t really be bitchin given what I’ve done with Jason and all but I don’t know, I kinda got mixed feelings about all this.

What is Hoyt trying to prove going to Fangtasia? If I wasn’t in the stall beside him & Tara he might be in a body bag right now. Doesn’t he get how dangerous of a situation he put himself in? I sure didn’t want him to go all fangbangin suicidal on me, heck I just wanted to get to know myself a bit more before I commit to anyone. This is uber messed up, right now. I don’t know what to think right now.

As for Tara, she can go and figure out this vampire shit on her own cause I don’t want no friend whose gonna play those games and spend her long undead life feeding off my sloppy seconds.Urgh…I could show her the true death right now.

I better go blow off some steam before I drain someone.